I want to wear it and then eat a snack on one of these plates,

and later drink some tea from this cup.

Although now my hair is light, and I think I need to redo all of my colors.

Back in the year 2000….Imagine a team that has a so-so record throughout the year. The fans are getting restless, the players seem uninspired, and then their coach walks up to the podium at a press conference. The media is hounding him about the losses the team is suffering and he says “I am raising the stakes right now … If this is a poker game, I am shoving my chips right in the middle of the table. I am raising the ante. Anybody who wants out, can get out. This team is going to the playoffs. OK? This team is going to the playoffs.” (Have you ever had anyone believe in you that way? To WILL you to succeed?)

And the next game they lose is the superbowl. That was my introduction to football. Chris and I had been dating about 7 months. He was a football fan although it wasn’t something we watched a lot. Then came “the pledge”. And it became a “can’t miss it” situation.

The ride in between that pledge and the superbowl was one of the most fun times of my life. We used to watch the games at the Salty Dog in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. The place would be packed. Sometimes if it was an early game it would be full of the “regulars” sipping coffee because it was too early to serve alcohol. You would nod and smile at each other, but only after you had your table and your territory was marked.

Afternoon games were more fun. Hit the gym in the morning hard, get ready, have the early game on in the house. Around 3 mosey on over to the Salty Dog (around the corner), get your table by 4, watch the game, and then head back for Simpsons and Sopranos. Always happy, because your team was pulling off miracles like it was what they were born to do.

Gentlemen, do you want to share your love of football with your woman? Do you want her to understand why for 5 months out of the year it is perfectly acceptable to refuse any Sunday plans unless the plans are with someone who has an awesome TV? You’ve got to explain it. Explain the nuances, explain the drama. Layout the soap opera that is the NFL.

Answer the questions. When I first started watching football, I told Chris that if I played football I would definitely pick a number in the 80’s for my jersey. They seem to be the luckiest ones that always catch the ball. Little did I know that wide receivers jobs are to catch the ball, and they are denoted by having numbers in the 80’s. I was so excited when I told him my theory.

Explain why she needs to keep an eye on number 10 today since it’s his first time playing his old team. In between plays when it looks like people are just standing around, give her some insight as to what they might be getting ready to do. Going for it on 4th down? If you don’t know what that means its b-o-r-i-n-g, and the players are just hanging out. If she knows, then the anticipation builds and her eyes might be closed during the actual play because she just can’t take the suspense anymore.

Ladies, if you give it a real chance, this is what you’ve got in store for you:

1. Miracles. Am I Dramatic? Yes. But I’ve seen them with my own eyes. I’ve seen Ron Dayne who really doesn’t seem to be the “thunder” he was billed as, drag himself into the end zone with 3 enormous guys hanging off of him. Fueled only by his internal drive. I’ve gone back to that moment many times when my company was starting and I needed to power through an all nighter.
2. Drama. All week long things happen in football. There’s trash talking, there are injury reports, trades, speculation, and it all comes to a head on Sunday. It’s like a never ending soap opera that isn’t going to ever “jump the shark” when the two main characters hook up.
3. Comedy. If you are into slapstick comedy, it doesn’t get much funnier than some of the commercials during football Sunday. Every once in a while something hilarious happens in the game too. We were at Giants stadium the day that Martin Gramatica kicked a field goal against the Giants, and then proceeded to injure himself severely by celebrating. Have you ever heard 60,000 people yell “d**k” at the same time? Pretty funny.
4. Talent & Poetry. Sometimes football just looks like a mess. If you look at it in slow motion it is a game of precision and grace. The quarter back must throw the ball so accurately that if it is a quarter of an inch off it’s an interception. He’s anticipating where his teammate is going to be, not where he actually is at the time of the throw. The receiver leaps into the air to catch the ball, he knows where he’s meant to be and it’s his job to be there, with huge linebackers barreling towards him. They are trying to take him out (And if they break his knee in the process, tough noogies. It’s understood by all involved, and no one is going to be suing anybody.) He catches the ball but its still not over. He’s got to come down from the air not only alive and intact but within the end zone. You will see guys twist in mid air to get the tippy top of their shoe within that white line. And it all happens within a few seconds. That’s what they are planning when they are standing around in their huddles for what seems like half the game.
5. History. Each team has a legacy. Their own heroes. For the Giants it’s the original L.T. (Lawrence Taylor). He is such a figure that during that fated season of 2000 during the playoff game to win the division they just had him standing on the sidelines. To remind the players of what they can accomplish. To remind them of greatness. For inspiration. New players come in and you watch them become the legends of tomorrow.
6. It All Counts. There are only 16 games in an NFL season. There are really no throw away games. I find it difficult to really get into baseball and basketball this way because there are simply too many games to have to keep track of. I don’t have that kind of time. Even in the playoffs, you lose once, you’re out. No series, no BS, no second chances.

And a bonus…Have I mentioned the tight pants?

And so, on the eve of the Giants first game of the season I am excited. I know that there are mountains for them to climb if they are going to have a real shot at winning. But I have also seen miracles happen. And hell, there’s always next year. You know I’ll be here.

I think I might be partial to clothing whose name starts with the letter “L”. My wedding dress’s name was “Liliana“, and the dress above is “Lia” from the J Crew fall collection. I am loving their new stuff right now. The photography is so vibrant and refreshing it makes me want everything and to also get into wearing headbands more. Unfortunately they always seem to slip off the back of my head.

When we move into our house (I’ll post more on this later), I would love to have a party and unveil this dessert which will be a giant cupcake surrounded by little cupcakes.

Remember on Pee Wee’s Playhouse when Pee Wee said he loved fruit salad, and Chairy then suggested that he marry it since he loved it so much and he did?

That’s how I feel about this show.  We are watching Season 2 on DVD right now and I can’t get over how hilarious this show is.